Washing Machine Blues

So things around my apartment are always breaking. However, I love my bachelorette pad so I would rather pay to have things fixed than move out.

On one of these occasions my washing machine had broken. Scratch that. It wasn’t fixed properly the first time. So I had the school secretary/translator call the repair company and request that they fix the machine properly and for free.  They agreed.

When the worker finally arrived at my apartment (he got lost, as most people do), I showed him straight to the washing machine. I tried to explain via use of charades and Google translator what was wrong with the washer. I even hummed the annoying sound that the machine makes when it refuses to do work.

Through my limited Chinese, sound effects and secretary (well, mostly secretary), he managed to understand the problem. He then unceremoniously ripped the top off of the machine. As I watched him pull black electrical tape out of his fanny pack of tools, I realize that this is probably something I should watch him fix in case it ever breaks again. As a result of my tenure in China, I already know how to repair toilets so perhaps with these two new skills I can start a successful business as an English speaking repairwoman in a city where no one speaks English. You always need a plan B.

I realized as he affixed a new washing machine sensor to the machine’s wires in the most haphazard manner that, although the agreed-upon labor was free, I would have to pay for this part. Something that I did not plan on and did not have the extra cash to cover the costs. 

Sure enough, he called my Secretary and handed the phone to me. “He wants you to pay 75 ¥ for the part,” she said. Laowai price, I thought in my head.

“Uh, ok. I didn’t take out any cash today so I will look around the apartment to see what I have.” What I had was 50-some RMB (¥) in notes and a bag of coins from around the world. As I took out the coins, I realized that throughout my time in China I had never used coins to pay for anything due to their miniscule value.  And even though each coin had only one numeral on it, I knew that there was surely a coin equivalent to .50 ¥.

I called my secretary back. “Hi again. This is kinda embarrassing but I don’t know how to count Chinese coins.”

She walked me through the process and confirmed my suspicions- evidently the coins bearing a ‘5’ are actually worth 50 percent of 1 ¥ and those emblazoned with a ‘1’ are 10 percent.  Even as a liberal arts major, I know that 1+5 does not make 60 parts of 100. The Chinese repairman looked incredulously at me as I painstakingly counted out the money, coming up 4 ¥ short despite sneaking in a gold coin from Chuck-E-Cheese.

Another call to the secretary. “Ask him if I can pay the rest in Australian coins. They are worth more than RMB anyways.”

After a brief conversation with my secretary, the man agreed and swept his payment into my former plastic change bag as I tried to keep a straight face. This is definitely going on the blog, I thought.

I handed him the bag and offered him some Easter candy. He politely refused, opting to exit my apartment as quickly as possible. My washer has only broke once since.

English Speech Imitation Show

Tomorrow is Easter but to the average Chinese citizen, the first half of this week was the celebration of Tomb Sweeping Festival. Kinda ironic timing since Easter celebrates Christ rising from the tomb. From what I could gather, the purpose of the Tomb Sweeping Festival is for the Chinese to visit the burial sites of their ancestors and tidy the graves. As all of my relatives are buried back in the US of A with graves in fairly good condition, I kicked off the holiday on Sunday afternoon by watching my first year's English Speech Imitation Show.

The kids had been hard at work all week, perfecting their imitations of famous speakers such as Abraham Lincoln and Oprah Winfrey. Despite the holiday, I knew I had to attend when I heard a hilarious impression of Obama's acceptance speech from the mouth of one of my first years.

Days before the speech, a girl whom I know from English Corner approached me for pointers on her speech. I scanned her handwritten paper and immediately recognized the words as those from Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign resignation speech. We worked on her speech and I promised her that I would attend the competition on Sunday.

When I arrived at the competition, I saw several of my students’ names also on the list of those to speak. The girl who I tutored, dressed in a Hillary Rodham signature pantsuit, rushed over with a small gift for me and thanked me for coming. I think the speeches ‘speak’ for themselves and I have included one of them below (because that is all my internet will allow it seems).

MLK Jr- I Have a Dream

The next day, I smiled when I received the following email from the girl whom I coached:

Dear Molly I'm Anna.finally I got the third price.Thank you very much!I never thought i can get a price!.Do you like my present?it's a small bag.youcan put coins on it.I think you may like pink so i bought it.

Hong Kong Rugby Sevens

The Hong Kong Rugby Sevens is unlike any sporting event on the planet. If the Rugby Sevens were a drink (good luck keeping anything down during this three-day event, though), it would call for 1 part sport, 2 parts party with a garnish of business.

Try as I may to describe this event, there is really no way to do it justice. For one weekend, the entire city of Hong Kong is filled with 20,000 revelers and rugby fans from all over the world. I met costumed South Africans, Fijians, Kiwis, Brits, Americans (a small minority) and Australians. I had left with the impression from my January HK visit that the city housed a healthy amount of Aussie expats. That number seemed to multiple during this particular weekend.

I arrived in Hong Kong on Friday evening, just in time to make it to the night games. As the games played out, I swiveled around in my seat, chatting and making friends with those around me while the boys watched the rugby. One of the most enjoyable parts of the rugby sevens was the sense of community and camaraderie of the event.

View of field at Day 1 (Friday) night games

After the Day 1 night games concluded, we followed the flow of the crowd to Lan Kwai Fong, a popular street teeming with Hong Kong transplants and rugby fans alike, celebrating the early wins of the weekend at local watering holes. The entire area buzzed and pulsated to a unifying beat.

If you are able to make it to Day 2 of the Rugby Sevens, the south stands are where you want to be. This is the area of the stadium where a crowd of alligators, cheerleaders and convicts (a group of Australians) cheer on their teams and boo the French. Flanked by a group of five ‘Where’s Waldos’, I made my way into the south stands around 10 am, managing to grab several of the last available seats.

Cheerleaders enjoying the sun and game

At around noon, I was glad that I had brought the Australian flag and used it as a canopy as the sun baked the rest of the crowd. Pimm’s, a gin based drink with an assortment of fruit in the bottom of the glass, served as a refreshing respite to the harsh sun. Despite this, several Waldos started to pull the sleeves of their costumes and I set to un-sewing the hems with a makeshift needle.

That night, the crowd descended again on Lan Kwai Fong. The spirits of the crowd hadn’t dampened and various brands were out out providing exposure for their products. I stopped my all-male entourage for a quick duck into a shop that sold teacher dresses. Several minutes later, I walked out holding my new purchase. The night carried on and I was able to find some American-style cheese fries and chilidogs, a feat that I am never able to accomplish on the mainland.

Lan Kwai Fong after Day 2 games

The next day, I rode around downtown Hong Kong on a tram before catching my train to the airport.

Outside view of a Hong Kong tram

My flight time prevented me witnessing a Fijian win, a country that, through my travels, is dear to my heart. However, I had an incredible time with friends that I will not soon forget. As a man was quoted in the newspaper the next day saying, “In your life, there are certain things to do before you die. [Hong Kong Sevens] is one of those things.” Rugby Sevens, check.

March Madness

(Note: Due to the work schedule/ too much time spent having fun on part of the author, blog posts about January/ February travels will be posted later)

So the month of March got off to a somewhat rocky start with the theft of my cell phone. However, things have improved significantly: last weekend I visited Xiamen and this weekend I am flying to Hong Kong for the Rugby Sevens. And yes, I do work full-time.

The real world means growing up and penning new chapters of life. My best friend from college started a new chapter of her life last week with the birth of her son. My younger sister started a new chapter when she scored her first job in the hospitality industry, thereby achieving a long-term goal of hers. I love experiencing the real world as an expat, but it means that I often miss out on life-changing events of loved ones.

The real world also means getting to spend your hard earned money on fun things, like bills (not) and weekend trips. A girlfriend and I hopped on a fast train this weekend and watched the countryside flash by in-between marking physics papers and glasses of wine. Our destination: Xiamen, an island city with about 5,000 foreigners.

Xiamen is bit more international than where I live and houses corporate giants like Boeing, Dell, Coca-Cola and GE. The city has been given the unofficial title of being the most attractive city in the Fujian province; it is filled with delightful colonial architecture and a pleasant vibe that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Also unique to Xiamen is a strong western pub presence- the main draw for our visit during St. Patrick’s Day.

We occupied ourselves during St. Patty’s day with a trip to Gulang Yu, a smaller island off the coast of Xiamen reachable by ferry. Xiamen was forced to become a port city during China’s loss in the first Opium War and the Gulang Yu also reflects the British influence through beautiful Victorian architecture. My friend and I enjoyed lunch on the porch of a beautiful courtyard restaurant and spent the day exploring the island by foot. I received the distinction of being the only person to swim in the ocean among a beach full of people clad head to toe in clothes on 80-degree day.

My friend and I crammed ourselves back onto the ferry and, to our dismay, discovered a huge wreck back on the main island of Xiamen. We were told that there were no cabs going anywhere. Refusing to give up our corned beef and cabbage dinner plans at a local Mexican restaurant, we headed towards a back street in search of a taxi.

This side trip resulted in one of the most interesting and disgusting scenes I have witnessed during my time in China. I have seen a lot of things in my time in the Orient, including fish heads splayed on blocks off ice at the local Sam’s. The moment I turned the corner to see a row full of dead chickens dripping on live fowl while a woman covered in innards plucked the feathers and sliced open a squawking, live bird takes the cake.

That night, I enjoyed margaritas and the best corned beef and cabbage I have had in my life, which is saying something as I come from an Irish-American family. The next day as I boarded the fast train, I couldn’t help but think about how much I loved Xiamen. It has a very international feel and a plethora of expats, all of whom were very interesting and have a unique story to tell. I can’t wait to go back and explore more. Well, maybe no more meat markets. 再见

Guilin, Day 3

So our last day in Guilin was split between exploring Seven Stars Park (七星岩) and taking part in some R&R at the hotel. 七星岩 is one of China's original tourist destinations (besides that long wall thing, of course) and has been on the vacation itinerary of both President Clinton and Nixon. The sign at the front of the park promises visitors a chance to see wild monkeys while simultaneously warning guests to keep their distance.

And we did. See monkeys that is.

Monday Update

Hope everyone had a great weekend and is ready to get back to the grind/finished one day back at the grind for my friends in Asia and Oz. My kids are getting antsy from all the rain here and I caught several hormonal teenagers surfing a smut site on their phones in my class. Despite my daily frustrations towards internet censorship here, I am hoping that this site will be blocked in the next week or two.

Speaking of taking away cell phones, it's been over a week and the police still have not apprehended my cellphone stealing, bike thieves. In country of 3.2 billion people I am not surprised. As of Sunday, I have a new phone. It looks like this:

Above: Michael Douglas in the 1987 classic 'Wall Street.' Coincidently, I had been told twice last week that my father looked like Gordon Gecko.

My mobile's not actually that bad; I'll survive. Happy Monday.

The Real World Sucks?

Sometimes, the real world sucks.

But it can also be downright fabulous. I just got back from a four week vacation (ok, real world for teachers) during which I purchased the new iPhone 4s. Let me tell you, it is worth every hundred. The best feature is the iMessage option, which allows you to send free texts to other 4s models worldwide. That, along with Facetime and Skype, make staying in-touch abroad extremely convenient.

Today, as I zipped along on my e-bike, I felt a tug on my earphones and my Chinese language tape suddenly stopped. I looked down and realized that my phone had dislodged from my coat pocket. Quickly breaking to a halt, I looked backwards but failed to spot my phone. Still on my bike, I looked to a man and several people walking next to me and asked if they had seen my phone. Although none of them spoke English (shocker), they pointed ahead just in time for me to see two young men on a illegal street bike swerve and right themselves. They continued to gesture furiously and it suddenly clicked that these men had just stolen my phone.

Although the moment from theft to realization had taken less than 25 seconds, my disbelief and slow reaction time provided enough opportunity for them to escape (this is why I am bad at sports and video games).

I sped to the next intersection and frantically asked the policeman (every major intersection has a traffic guard, check out the driving and you will understand why) and all around if anyone could speak English. A Chinese man in his late twenties told me that he could speak English and I hurriedly explained the situation. He called the police station and we went into a nearby bank to wait for someone to arrive.

The man introduced himself to me as King and assured me that he didn't mind waiting with me since he telecommuted to work in Fenton, Michigan. I relayed the entire situation, or what I could remember since it had all happened so quickly. A cop car finally arrived and drove 'the King and I' (sorry, I couldn't help it) to the nearest police station. After giving my statement and signing it with my John Hancock and 5 thumbprints (yeah, they do that) we were whisked off to the main police station for further red tape.

The next time someone says something bad about the Chinese government, I will punch them in the face. Seriously though, my experience with the Chinese police force was nothing less than awesome. When my good samaritan and I walked into the station, we were met by two officers which quickly grew to 10. Everyone was eager to help me and gave me kleenex, water and use of the internet on their official computers. They checked the facts of my situation and called another department to make sure that someone else didn't need to be involved too since I was a foreigner.

The policemen helped me call my cell phone company and threw their weight around when they refused to cancel my sim card without a physical copy of my passport. The officers asked King what I did in China. They were shocked when they heard all the subjects that I taught and were even more surprised when they learned that I taught Physics.... to Chinese students... in English. They asked what I studied in school and how I found my job. King was a bit confused himself when I explained that I majored in Advertising and Public Relations but he rolled with it.

As it neared lunch time, they asked my new friend and I if we wanted to leave or join them in the canteen. Knowing that they fully expected me to reject their offer, I shocked them all by accepting. Five police guards proudly escorted me to the cafeteria and I enjoyed a meal that far out passed my greasy school lunches.

I had full run of the police station all afternoon and explored the various rooms (my favorite was a room labeled 'sober-up room' with beds) and courtyards. I am upset that I wasn't able to take pictures of the facilities (they only allowed one in the cafeteria) because it was by far the cleanest building I have seen in China, surpassing the hospitals by far.

=I would be lying if I said today was a great day. It sucked. After waiting a month to get my hands on the new iPhone, it was stolen from me and I will not be able to replace it. But I gained a new friend, got to eat lunch with the city's finest and experience a level of cleanliness that I didn't think existed in this country. So although I am still truly upset about losing my mobile security blanket and the constant contact with my loved ones back home, the real world does not suck overall. My problems are first world problems and, who knows, maybe someone reading this will buy me an iPhone. Any interested parties can feel free to e-mail me. 再见